A number of years ago I was at some friend’s house for dinner. Their 4 year old boy was running at top speed across the back yard when he stumbled over a rock and went down hard. I watched in amazement as he picked himself up, looked back at the rock, and quietly said to himself, “I won’t do that again.” Then he trotted off to play with his brother.
What incredible wisdom was captured in that moment! No blame, no regret, no feeling sorry for himself – just acceptance, learning from the experience and moving on.
Just think of all the energy we spend trying to fix blame, or being angry or upset, or just talking about the “bad things that happened to me.”
How much happier would we be if we could channel that energy into something productive when an obstacle shows up?
For most of us, it takes practice, because we have developed the habit of labeling things as good and bad, and reacting accordingly. We say “YES” to the good ones, and “NO” to the bad. And the “NO” doesn’t really get us anywhere.
Over the past few years I’ve developed habits that help me use my energy more efficiently. These (almost always) work for me:
First, and most important, I accept whatever it is. If I can change it, I do. If not, I don’t waste emotional energy on anything that resembles resistance. (Why me? Not again! Why now? Oh, no! etc.)
Secondly, I look at the situation, and ask myself, could this be “a blessing in disguise?” Quite often, it is. If I step back from the emotional response of not wanting this, I can usually see some gift that came along for the ride – something I can turn into a positive.
At the very least, I can look at it as a learning experience, figure out what the lesson is – and add that experience to the list of things I don’t prefer. That gives me a much clearer perspective on what I DO prefer!
The result is quite amazing when you first begin to do this on a regular basis. Not only does it make you feel much better, it also seems to lessen the number and severity of obstacles!
Perhaps that part (fewer obstacles) is “all in my head”, but that doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I feel much better, and I’m much more productive.
Just Imagine That!
