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Archive for category Grease for the Gears
We are all familiar with the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” Sometimes it’s very easy to overlook the gems hidden inside the challenges we face. In other words, dismissing things that seem unwanted can mean we miss those gems.
An experience with my email provider this morning brought this home to me, and while this may seem a bit off-topic for us, please bear with me for just a few minutes.
Lately I have found my email to be unusually unreliable. I send messages that don’t arrive. Messages sent to me are lost on a regular basis. For me, this is especially troublesome, as I do much of my communication with clients via email. It has caused a number of unnecessary issues.
After spending an hour with a technical support person for my email provider, I discovered that they had re-set my SPAM filter settings, without my knowledge, and I subsequently located many of the missing emails.
These types of things happen, especially in an automated world. After much explaining, experimenting and resetting of email preferences, the issue was FINALLY resolved.
What this led me to, though, is perhaps pertinent to all of us in pursuit of our own ambitions.
This email issue originated when someone(s) said, “Please protect me . . . from unwanted messages in my inbox.” This seems a reasonable request. Or is it?
This simple request spawned an entire industry devoted to creating filters and algorhythms designed to discard the “unwanted” and make sure that I only get messages I want (my gems).
Sounds good, until you get to the next question: how does any computer program know what I want or don’t want? For that matter, how does anyone else on the planet know what I want? They don’t. And thus, the real issue behind my frustration emerged.
When we give someone else permission to protect us from something unwanted, we also give them the power to decide not only how they will protect us, but also what constitutes ‘unwanted.’
In essence, we are giving someone else the power to decide what’s “good for us” - and we trust that they know what our “gems” are. The reality is, though, that no one else can ever know what you want or don’t want. At best, they are guessing at what most people consider unwanted.
We have given up our freedom to choose, because we no longer “know” or have access to ALL of our choices.
(Just as an aside, like everything we decide to “fight against,” the object of our resistance only gets stronger, more determined, and more prevalent.)
So here’s where this roundabout train of thought gets really relevant.
We each have created our own “spam filters” in our un-conscious mind, and turned over to them the power to discard “messages” that look like spam without our noticing them. We have, over the course of many years, grouped and categorized large blocks of things, and ideas, that we just dismiss without looking at them.
Everyday, we are presented with opportunities to see things that we have never seen before or that are commonplace to us - in new ways. And, because we have finely tuned our internal spam mechanism to “hide” things from us that do not support our chosen direction and priorities, there are a number of things that are filtered and stored in our brains without us ever consciously noticing them! And every single one of those things might contain the gem we are looking for, hoping for and asking for.
Perhaps it’s time to take a new look at some of the things we file away without examination. Set an intention that you will notice things that will give you insight and new perspectives that will serve you in making the most of the issues you are facing today. Trust that what you need is right in front of you and that you will notice when it shows up.
Then, when you notice something, take a good look to see if there is a “baby” in there that is worth nurturing into a full blown gem of a GREAT IDEA!
Just Imagine That!
Stories…we all have one.
All the things you have done. All the things that have happened in your life. All the things you’ve witnessed, or heard about. This is your story.
And every day we add to our story.
Many of us think of ourselves as being defined by our story. We’ve spent most of our time there, and it’s how we’re used to interacting.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Here’s my story from yesterday:
I got up early, after not having enough sleep, and drove to my niece Sandra’s house. I spent most of the day with her and my sister Denise. We had a yard sale which was very successful. We sat under a large shade tree for most of the time, and talked and met some interesting people who stopped by. We sold the majority of what we had. About 4:00 I left there and met Mitch at Barrett Commons AMC. We saw a new release called “Moon”, which we enjoyed. Then we went home, had dinner, and relaxed for the evening.
That’s my story (the very short version) from just yesterday.
Was there anything there that was interesting to you? Was there anything there that remains relevant for me today? Answering for myself, I’d say “no.”
The facts about what I did are a part of my story, but they were only relevant in the moment.
What might be still relevant to me are the less tangible things about yesterday. How the experience(s) made me feel. Any insights or knowledge that I gained. Anything that might be useful to me - or to other people - today or in the future.
So, here’s another version of my yesterday - without the story:
 I enjoy times when I relax and become fully engaged in where I am, who I’m with, and just “go with the flow.” It’s a refreshing change to most of my days. I think I’d like to create more time in my life for just “being.” I’d be happier if I took some of pressure of always “doing” off of myself. I laugh more and generally feel better when I do that. I also liked the movie - it was an interesting concept.
Those two things I choose to hold on to. They are relevant to me today, and perhaps even to you. (There were some other little pieces of information and insights that I think might be interesting to certain other people, but you get the idea.)
The point of all this is that if I spend part of today either thinking or talking about my story from yesterday, I’m not present today - I’m living in my past. (And, I just may be boring other people in the process.)
Rather than that, if I spend some time today thinking and talking about the insights I gained, I can perhaps inspire myself - and someone else - to act on them.
So, when someone asks me, “How was your weekend?”, my response will generally be the latter description, or at least the part of it that I think might be relevant to them.
And, when I reflect on my weekend, I choose to think of it in those terms. It just seems more productive to do it that way, because I choose to be - and share - something other than my story…
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Awareness, Perspective, Relationship
This past weekend served as a reminder to many of us of where we started, and how far we’ve come. Not just as a nation, but also as individuals.
We’ve come a long way - especially these past few years!
We’ve overcome many obstacles, streamlined our perspectives and priorities, and gained a clearer picture of what we intend to accomplish in our lifetime.
We’ve created amazing tools to help us be more productive, and learned how to use old ones in new ways.
We are nothing if not adaptable and innovative!
And, for many of us, we’ve come to a point where we’ve done most of the obvious things, acquired most of the necessary skills, and created most of the required habits for success.
Yet it hasn’t become as easy as we’d like.
We’re just not quite there yet.
So what’s left to do - or to learn?
Perhaps it’s time to look a little closer at some of the beliefs and habits that are the basis from which we operate.
We call these the “Shoulds.” We learn them from the time we can talk - from the people we respect. And they learned them the same way.
We should work hard…
We should be responsible…
We should not rock the boat…
We should act our age…
We should set a good example…
The list could go on for volumes, and get very specific. These beliefs are ingrained in us, and they play a part in every decision we make.
Many of them are very helpful to us, and truly reflect how we want to be.
There are some, however, that we accept without question and continue to operate from even when they become hindrances.
We’ve been reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s new book, Excuses Begone!, which explains with great clarity how and why we adopt these beliefs, and how they can hold us back.
His methodology for examining and potentially changing them is very closely aligned with the Just Imagine That program.
In order to take a new, imaginative idea from inspiration to practical reality, we necessarily pass it through our Shoulds to make sure it aligns with them.
It only makes sense, then, that if we’re holding on to Shoulds that are not really in line with us as individuals, we will not get the results that work best for us.
Take just a few minutes to think about some of your Shoulds. Make a list of some of them that might not be true for you right now, even though they may have been in the past - and they may be for other people you know.
Just list some possibilities. We’re not suggesting you throw them out just yet…just consider if they are really in line with who you want to be, and what you want to accomplish.
We’ll look at the some ways to evaluate them later in the week.
Perhaps you Should. 
Just Imagine That!
P.S. If you’re in the Atlanta area, Diana is co-facilitating an interactive workshop based on Wayne Dyer’s book each Tuesday this month at the InterFaith Truth Center. Please consider joining us as we use his principles and methodology in working through our interference!
Tags: Awareness, Perspective, Preference
We live in a very noisy world. Audible noise and visual noise.
Seems that we are constantly surrounded these days by messages - all vying for our attention. Standing in line at the bank or supermarket, surfing the Web, driving, at the movie theatre, watching tv, listening to the radio. . . everywhere we look there are businesses of some sort talking to us.
No, most of that’s not really new, and we’ve learned to tune most of it out. Yet it has has become more and more prevalent with technological advances.
And even more of this noise is being created since just about everyone we know has started a business of some sort. Starting a few years ago when many of us realized our “jobs” were not as secure as we had hoped, the “side” or “home-based” business has been growing exponentially. And on top of that, many people have recently become involuntary entrepreneurs. Friends, relatives, people we meet on the street ~ all of them want us to pay attention to their enterprise.
On top of all that, we have our own enterprise ~ whatever that may be. Even if it’s going really well, it is mostly likely requiring more of our attention. We’re having to learn new skills, apply new creativity, and generally keep ourselves visible among all the Noise.
Whew!
Where do we find the time?
Well, using our incredible adaptability, we’ve developed internal screening methods that keep us from feeling totally overwhelmed. We’ve learned how to “tune out” most of the noise. It’s necessary for us to train our focus on the things that are most relevant among the multitude of choices we have.
No longer do we go searching for new things. So many messages are coming at us, most of the time we simply screen the incoming for what grabs our attention.
This makes life a bit easier for us in our role as consumers.
 As business people, it can present challenges. How do we become heard above all the Noise?
How do we set ourselves apart so we are one of the voices that our prospects and clients actually hear instead of tune out?
We have to do something different. We have to make our message more compelling than the others ~ to the people we want to hear us.
Sounds like a job for Creative Man!! Or, Imagination Woman!!
Join us this week for some thoughts on how to get more innovative in your offerings, your presence, and your marketing, so you will stand out from the crowd.
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Business Relationships, Possibility
We all daydream, most of us quite often during any given day. The question is, how do you react to your daydreams? Do you see them as distractions to your focused and productive brain time – as a waste of time? When you notice yourself daydreaming, do you immediately “bring yourself back to reality?”
There’s some very interesting scientific research that shows that daydreaming is much more prevalent (perhaps as much as 1/3 of our waking time), and much more productive than we’ve ever imagined.
This research suggests that daydreaming, or mind-wandering, is actually our mind’s “default state.” When we are not focused on outside stimulus, like when we’re doing tasks that require little attention, out mind naturally wanders.
That’s not too surprising, is it?
What is very interesting, though, is that the same research shows our brain is actually working harder in the areas of complex thought (like problem solving) when it’s daydreaming than when our thoughts are focused on tasks and outside stimuli.
Sounds like maybe we have access to some (internal) resources that we may be overlooking.
Just for today, let’s do an experiment:
Keep a pad near you, and pay attention to what’s going on in your mind. Without trying to influence it, just notice all the times you “disconnect” from what you’re doing and where you are.
When you’re showering, getting dressed, driving, doing laundry – any of the mundane tasks that you do without a lot of conscious thought – pay attention to what your mind is doing.
Each time your mind wanders from what’s in front of you, jot down a word or two about where it goes, unless you’re driving, of course.
We’re going to be talking about ways to harness this natural resource on our blog this week.
So, let’s start with just noticing any patterns in your daydreams – themes and recurring thoughts. You might be surprised at what you’re really doing all day.
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Awareness, Awareness Exercise
Yesterday Diana gave you some great tips on changing your perspective from wanting something to preferring something. And that felt pretty good, didn’t it? Amazing how substituting one word for another can make a real difference.
Are you ready to look at another simple change in the way you say things that will make your words and energy line up to get the results you prefer?
First, think of something you would like to do today. Pick something that is not an absolute “must,” but something you would like to do.
Now, fill in this blank with that something:
“Today I will try to _______________________.”
Take a breath and notice how that feels. Do you feel committed to doing it? Do you feel optimistic you will do it? Do you feel solid, wishy washy, undecided, empowered, on the fence? Do you feel a combination of these things, all at the same time?
In my experience, when I say I will “try” to do something, I feel the same kind of energy that I do when I say “maybe.” I am thinking about doing something and I don’t yet have both my feet on the “I really prefer to do this” side of my decision line.
I have also discovered that I use “try” to give myself an “out” because I am afraid that I really won’t be able to make what I prefer to have happen actually happen. And sometimes when “try” pops out of my mouth, it let’s me know that what I think I want to do and what I truly prefer to do are not matching up.
Wow…what a powerful little word “try” is! By using it to help sort out our preferences and set our priorities, it narrows down how we use our time and energy to create results that really matter to us. And once we are clear on those, our “inner mental organizer” gets busy working on ways to make what we prefer happen.
And, when you use “try” to help you get clearer on what you prefer, you can more easily line up your energy with the words you say. Here’s a substitute for “try” that helps me do that:
“Today I will do my best to __________________.”
Go ahead and fill in the blank with the “to do” you used above.
Now, how does that feel? Is it still a real preference? If it is, does it feel more possible? More likely to happen? Easier to do? Like a path has been cleared?
Let’s take this one step further.
Throughout your day, notice when you use the word “try” and then restate the statement or thought with “Today I will do my best to__________.” See if you feel good and get better results when you say this. If you do, add it to your toolbox!
One more really cool thing…by saying you will do your best, you make being your best and doing your best a bigger part of who you are.
And no matter what, your best is always, always more than good enough.
Just Imagine That !
Words are one of the most powerful tools we have in interacting with other people.
We can make someone’s day brighter by giving them a sincere compliment. Or crush them with unkind words. This is an inherent power that we use whether we’re consciously aware of it or not.
And, at least sometimes, we all use language purposefully. During interactions that are important to us, we are usually very deliberate about the words we choose – doing our best to convey just the thought and feeling that we intend.
In our marketing and sales communications, for example, we often labor over just the right words for some time.
Much of our casual communication, though, is more spontaneous, and comes more from habit than careful thought.
You may think that this is not a big deal. You say the things you say, and other people will interpret them however they will.
That’s true.
When you speak, though, there are always two people who hear you, and two people who get a message from your words. The person you are talking to, and YOU.
And you hear yourself much more often than anyone else does.
Have you ever “talked yourself into” feeling something simply by saying it over and over? I know I have.
This week we’re going to explore how your language reflects your inner thoughts, and give you some examples of ways you can make small changes in your daily communications that can open possibilities and change your perspective.
Here’s a simple one:
When someone invites you to do something and you decide to decline, what do you say first?
Most people respond with some version of “no”, usually followed by “thanks.”
What happens if you simply reverse the order of your words – expressing your gratitude for the invitation before turning it down? It’s a small thing that can have a big effect on how your words are perceived. And, it reminds you that you are grateful for their thought!
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Awareness, Awareness Exercise, Possibility, Possibility Exercise
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