 |
Archive for category Possibility Fuel
This week we have been increasing our awareness about our long-standing beliefs and how they influence the way we live our lives.
To recap - many of our beliefs became a part of who we are at a very young age. They usually operate behind the scenes at a subconscious level and show up as things we feel we should or should not do. These Shoulds become very strong influences when we decide to step out and try new things and behaviors.
We initially adopted our Shoulds because they were accepted guidelines that were supposed to help us live a “good life.” This was all well and good for “then.”
But, what about now?
As you have grown and changed – and as the world around you has changed (dramatically, I might add!)– some of those beliefs have become roadblocks that can stop you from creating the success and life that you want.
In fact, when you are very determined that you want to accomplish something – and you just can’t quite seem to make headway in that direction, this is a clue that a Should is operating in the background!
Now, if you see a Should as an immovable force in your life…it actually becomes an excuse that you use to hold yourself back.
Here’s another way to look at this…Is it possible that believing that you will always be a certain way because you have always been that way, has become an excuse for not going for what you want?
If you feel this is possible, and if you want to make quicker and easier progress in creating success, it is important that you change your thinking so that you can let go of your excuses. One way to do this is to modify your beliefs and your Shoulds so that they serve you better right now.
We began to work on this yesterday by suggesting you take a conscious look at some of the Shoulds you have become aware of this week and asking, “Is this belief still true for me and who I am now?”
Did you find that some of your Shoulds no longer make logical sense when you consider who you are and what you want to do now? If you did, you can begin to loosen your grip on this belief by restating it in a way that puts some space between the past – when you adopted this belief – and the present.
Here’s an example that will show you how to do this.
Say you have the following belief: “I am not good at math.”
Now see how this next statement feels: “Until recently, I was not good at math.”
Doesn’t that feel tons better? By adding “Until recently…” to the beginning of any belief that no longer serves you, you move that old belief into the past, opening the door to experiencing it’s opposite in the present! Pretty cool, huh?
Give this a try whenever you think or say a negative statement about yourself. Just say or think it again adding until recently to the beginning of the statement.
When you approach a Should with a new “now” perspective, you create possibilities. You begin to lift the weight off that belief and feel energized by the possibility that you can now do something to move forward!
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Awareness, Perspective, Possibility Exercise
We live in a very noisy world. Audible noise and visual noise.
Seems that we are constantly surrounded these days by messages - all vying for our attention. Standing in line at the bank or supermarket, surfing the Web, driving, at the movie theatre, watching tv, listening to the radio. . . everywhere we look there are businesses of some sort talking to us.
No, most of that’s not really new, and we’ve learned to tune most of it out. Yet it has has become more and more prevalent with technological advances.
And even more of this noise is being created since just about everyone we know has started a business of some sort. Starting a few years ago when many of us realized our “jobs” were not as secure as we had hoped, the “side” or “home-based” business has been growing exponentially. And on top of that, many people have recently become involuntary entrepreneurs. Friends, relatives, people we meet on the street ~ all of them want us to pay attention to their enterprise.
On top of all that, we have our own enterprise ~ whatever that may be. Even if it’s going really well, it is mostly likely requiring more of our attention. We’re having to learn new skills, apply new creativity, and generally keep ourselves visible among all the Noise.
Whew!
Where do we find the time?
Well, using our incredible adaptability, we’ve developed internal screening methods that keep us from feeling totally overwhelmed. We’ve learned how to “tune out” most of the noise. It’s necessary for us to train our focus on the things that are most relevant among the multitude of choices we have.
No longer do we go searching for new things. So many messages are coming at us, most of the time we simply screen the incoming for what grabs our attention.
This makes life a bit easier for us in our role as consumers.
 As business people, it can present challenges. How do we become heard above all the Noise?
How do we set ourselves apart so we are one of the voices that our prospects and clients actually hear instead of tune out?
We have to do something different. We have to make our message more compelling than the others ~ to the people we want to hear us.
Sounds like a job for Creative Man!! Or, Imagination Woman!!
Join us this week for some thoughts on how to get more innovative in your offerings, your presence, and your marketing, so you will stand out from the crowd.
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Business Relationships, Possibility
Happy Tuesday !
When you read the title above, did you automatically fill in the blank? Do you remember the story of the Little Engine that overcomes a seemingly impossible task while repeating “I think I can, I think I can?”
I have to admit, I had forgotten all about the Little Engine until I ran into a “grown up” version of the moral of that story the other day. I was cleaning out old post-it notes that I had tucked under my computer keyboard when I stumbled across one of my favorite sayings – “If you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right !”
When I first heard that saying many years ago, the cleverness of it struck me, and sparked my curiosity. Now, years and many lessons later, when I came across that post-it note, I smiled and remembered the Little Engine and his mantra, “I think I can….I think I can…”
How about you? Do you think you can? Or, when faced with a challenge, is your first thought “I can’t!” Are you aware of what you are telling yourself inside your head?
Well, one way to figure out what is going on inside your head, it to listen more closely to what you are thinking and saying.
So, are you ready and willing to do a little experiment today to increase your awareness of the power of the words can and can’t?
OK! First, fill in the blank in the following sentence with the first thing that comes to your mind.
“I CAN’T _______________.” (No editing – just write down the first thing you think of.)
Now, sit for a minute with how that feels.
�
Now take whatever you wrote in the blank above and plug it into the following sentence.
“I THINK I CAN __________.” Now repeat this outloud to yourself (quietly works just fine) at least three times.
“I THINK I CAN _________. I THINK I CAN ________. I THINK I CAN ______!
Now, how does that feel? Do you feel lighter? Do you feel possibilities starting to come to you? Do you feel the beginnings of a smile on your face?
Remember, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right! So why not go with CAN?
You might as well go with the option that opens up possibilities and comes with a smile…..
Just Imagine That !
Tags: Awareness, Awareness Exercise
When faced with making a decision, there are usually three choices we think we have: YES. NO. MAYBE.
Oddly, YES and NO have a lot in common. Both are definitive and indicate the decision-making process is over. YES opens a door, while NO closes one. Either way, you have eliminated possibilities and made a decision. No need for creativity or imagination…the decision has been made.
MAYBE is a bit more open to possibility. Unless you are just using it to be polite, MAYBE usually means you are still sorting out the pros and cons of one thing compared to another. Yet, ultimately the decision you feel you need to make is YES or NO. When the choice is finally made, your creativity and imagination are no longer needed for this particular issue.
But what if there is another choice you can make that actually creates possibilities? What if there is another answer that doesn’t force you to decide in favor of one thing and against another? What if there is a choice that supports creative thinking?
Is that even possible?
Yes, it is.
And that choice option is ……AND and BOTH.
What? That doesn’t sound like a choice!
Hold on a minute and let me give you an example of what using AND and BOTH as a choice looks like.
Fifteen years after I graduated from college, I decided I wanted to get a Masters Degree. At the time, I was single, 10 years into a career and 100% responsible for my livelihood. When I applied to graduate school, I was advised that I would not be able to meet some of the time requirements of the program unless I quit my job.
I really wanted that degree, and I did not want to give up my career/job and tube my finances in order to get it. My choices seemed to be to choose my career or go for the degree. Neither solution appealed to me.
I was stuck there until I chose AND and BOTH. When I did, I figured out a way to keep my job, career and finances intact AND also get my degree!
Putting my creativity and imagination to work, I opened up the possibility, and found a way to do it. When I graduated, I was still employed with the same company and in good shape financially. All because I was willing to make my decision AND and BOTH.
So, are you willing to give AND and BOTH a try? Here we go…
Think of decision you want to make but you have not yet been able to come up with a clear YES or NO. (Hint: Take a look at your MAYBE list and pick something that has been on it for a while.)
Now, summarize the issue into its two opposing options (i.e. I can do this or I can do that.)
Read over the issue and the two choices and then say, “How about AND and BOTH?”
Then let your imagination go to work, and see if you can come up with a possible solution you haven’t thought of before.
You just may be able to have your cake…and eat it, too!
Just Imagine That!
Tags: Perspective, Possibility, Possibility Exercise
A number of years ago I was at some friend’s house for dinner. Their 4 year old boy was running at top speed across the back yard when he stumbled over a rock and went down hard. I watched in amazement as he picked himself up, looked back at the rock, and quietly said to himself, “I won’t do that again.” Then he trotted off to play with his brother.
What incredible wisdom was captured in that moment! No blame, no regret, no feeling sorry for himself – just acceptance, learning from the experience and moving on.
Just think of all the energy we spend trying to fix blame, or being angry or upset, or just talking about the “bad things that happened to me.”
How much happier would we be if we could channel that energy into something productive when an obstacle shows up?
For most of us, it takes practice, because we have developed the habit of labeling things as good and bad, and reacting accordingly. We say “YES” to the good ones, and “NO” to the bad. And the “NO” doesn’t really get us anywhere.
Over the past few years I’ve developed habits that help me use my energy more efficiently. These (almost always) work for me:
First, and most important, I accept whatever it is. If I can change it, I do. If not, I don’t waste emotional energy on anything that resembles resistance. (Why me? Not again! Why now? Oh, no! etc.)
Secondly, I look at the situation, and ask myself, could this be “a blessing in disguise?” Quite often, it is. If I step back from the emotional response of not wanting this, I can usually see some gift that came along for the ride – something I can turn into a positive.
At the very least, I can look at it as a learning experience, figure out what the lesson is – and add that experience to the list of things I don’t prefer. That gives me a much clearer perspective on what I DO prefer!
The result is quite amazing when you first begin to do this on a regular basis. Not only does it make you feel much better, it also seems to lessen the number and severity of obstacles!
Perhaps that part (fewer obstacles) is “all in my head”, but that doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I feel much better, and I’m much more productive.
Just Imagine That!
Contrast is a term we’ve borrowed from Jerry and Esther Hicks (www.abraham-hicks.com) to describe all the wonderful diversity in our lives. The things we welcome and label as “good”, and the other things that seem (at least at first glance) unwanted.
An unexpected check in the mail and an unexpected bill…this is contrast.
One of our age old questions – paraphrased – goes something like this: Why can’t it all be good news?
If you think about that very deeply, you realize why contrast exists. It serves us in a number of ways.
First of all, if we never saw something we didn’t like, how would we know what we do like? (Without dull, how can you know glossy?)
Secondly, do you really, really want a life with no challenges? Granted, sometimes I could use less of them; but without the obstacles, there would be no opportunity for growth, and achievement, and a feeling of accomplishment. (And that’s the best feeling, isn’t it?)
So, contrast gives us the opportunity to decide what we prefer, by showing us both things we like and things we don’t. And then, it gives us the opportunity to “make lemonade” from the ones we don’t prefer.
Sounds like a win-win, when it’s put that way, right?
Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way when we’re in the midst of it, though.
So how do you deal quickly and effectively with the contrast you’d like to un-choose?
Stop back by tomorrow for some strategies I use, and, in the meantime, give some thought to the contrast that’s in your life…and see if some of it is “lemonade ingredients.”
Just Imagine That!
So…how did it go yesterday? How many times did you automatically reach for the object you chose, expecting to find it in its old location? (For those of you who are going HUH?…please read over yesterday’s blog.) Have you already moved it back to where it was originally and re-assigned it to its old function? How many times did you notice or think about the object when it was in its new place and doing its new job? How did you feel about having something “misplaced” in your immediate environment? Did you find out that the new location and function worked for you? What else did you experience?
Why am I asking so many questions?
Because the way you responded to this small change will give us some clues about how you respond to change. What you choose and how you respond to change have a direct relationship. And being willing to try new things is tied to creativity and possibility.
How so? We humans, for the most part, are creatures of habit. Once we decide what something is, we remove our attention from it and let it be. This allows us to be organized and efficient and, well, predictable.
But, let’s look at this from another angle. Every time we decide something is a coffee cup, we also decide what it is not (i.e. a plant holder) When we get into habitual patterns of thinking (about things, people, events, etc.), we often decide what they are without really taking a look at them…sort of like deciding on autopilot. We also call this deciding by default.
When you make a decision by default, you are still making a decision.< It’s just that you are unconsciously making the same decision – over and over again out of habit - rather than choosing consciously.
When you decide by default, you are making a decision based on history – what worked, what got you what you wanted, what was most comfortable at that time. When you make a conscious decision, you are taking into consideration your history and what feels right and best and possible for you right now.
As you go through your day today, when you are faced with decisions, check in with yourself to see if you are deciding by default or deciding based on who you are now and what you want now. Just by being aware that you are making choices and that you have choice, you will become more conscious of your decisions. Cool. Huh?
How we make decisions is just as important as the decisions we make..because how we make decisions creates or eliminates possibilities.
Just Imagine That!
“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
- Tuli Kupferberg
Tags: Perspective, Possibility
|
|
